Hugging - the Science, and the Art!

Hello! How are you going today? And how did you go with your homework GEM from last week? Have you been giving and receiving lots of hugs?

“We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth” Virginia Satir (Psychotherapist).

The Science!

Simply speaking, touch (hugs, handshakes, hand-holding, kissing, etc.) triggers the release of hormones in the body – the two key players being

• ·         DOPAMINE (pleasure hormone)
• ·         OXYTOCIN (love hormone) – particularly exciting in our context.

I first learnt about the benefits of oxytocin and hugging at a reflexology workshop early last year. Afterwards I went and excitedly told my mother (a nurse) all about it – her response was simply “that’s the childbirth hormone…” I found that rather anticlimactic against my excitement…!

Yes, oxytocin is indeed the hormone released during childbirth. It helps mother and child bond in those first moments, so it’s pretty special (men have this hormone too, just by the way). It also helps in the initial creation of said children (or just the play, if you prefer) ^_^

BUT! There are other awesome things is does too!

• ·         It reduces our cortisol levels, reducing feelings of stress and aiding in sleep quality
• ·         Reduces blood pressure
• ·         Boosts feelings of trust and connection
• ·         It’s also been noted to reduce pain and inflammation

Fun fact – people are so hungry for hugs now that “Cuddle Therapy Centres” exist, where you can pay for a hug!

So earlier, I mentioned that touch generically has all these benefits. This is true. But in the same way that poking your toe in the spa-bath might be nice, sitting in there and enjoying the whole body experience is way better! In the case of touch, hugs have more contact area, and that’s gotta be a good thing! Hugging someone you trust is also much more potent than hugging a stranger.

The Art!

A hug is a hug is a hug? Nope!

Earlier this year I got a big shock. I went to a reflexology course in Sydney and was doing the typical round of hugging that occurs at these meets (we’re a huggy bunch because we know how good it is!) ^_^ When I went to hug the teacher, I leant in my usual way and she boldly met me head on. I simply couldn’t get across to the side I wanted to hug her from. All she said to me was “Heart to heart, dear. Always heart to heart.”

It took a while for me to register, but then the realisation landed. I’d spent all my years hugging people’s right side. By doing this, we met right shoulder to right shoulder – which is actually the ‘impersonal’ hug.

Fascinated, I started observing any hugs I witnessed in society. Almost every hug I’ve witnessed since that moment has been right shoulder to right shoulder. Very few people naturally meet in a left shoulder to left shoulder hug (heart to heart). Hugging ‘heart to heart’ connects you in a profound way.

Length of each hug is also important – again, more is more! Try to hug for 10-20 seconds. If you can hold each hug for 20 seconds or more, you will gain more oxytocin, further reduce cortisol and stress feelings, and sleep even better!

This week’s GEM – hug as often as you can, endeavour to hug heart to heart, and hold each hug as long as is reasonable ^_^

Now, I would love to hear your feedback on this – can you feel the difference? Try hugging your partner on both sides (hold each hug for 10-20 seconds) and let me know which one felt better. I have tested this on a number of dear friends and I now try to make a point of hugging people ‘heart to heart’.

Special tip – if you’re finding you can’t find enough people to hug, there are alternatives that are still really beneficial!

• ·         Hug or pat an (trustworthy) animal – animals love touch as much as we do
• ·         Watch a romantic comedy!
• ·         Treat yourself to some TLC. Go have a relaxing, head rubbing, hair-wash at your favourite hair dressers, get a massage, or hey! Come and get some reflexology! J

Next week I’m going to step slightly outside the box and stretch your minds (and toes)! Look forward to it!