Welcome back!
Stress! The word alone can set your teeth on edge!
I want to share a bit more of my story this week and
my key lesson about dealing with stress. In return, I welcome your stories, key lessons and remedies in
the comments below – don’t be shy!
2 years ago I burnt out at work. Working as an “Information
Specialist”, I was sitting in a demanding position and ‘burning the candle at
both ends’. For years leading up to my burn-out, I would work hard all week,
and then be a vegetable the entire weekend to regather my energies for the
next week. Quite the lifestyle, huh?! Despite all that, I kept telling myself
that I was coping just fine – “this is what everyone deals with!”
After I’d burnt out and was slowly recovering, several
friends then told me they’d seen me ‘on the road towards burning out' and
weren’t at all surprised by my news…! My initial thought response to
hearing that was “then why the heck didn’t you tell me before I actually crashed?” Later I realised, all telling me would have achieved would be to stress me even
more. Knowing the outcome could be rather scary if you don’t have the tools
available to change paths. And at that time I simply didn’t have the coping
strategies to be able to make use of that information.
I now understand stress much more clearly. There are two key
types of stress:
- Literal stress (“OMG a hungry tiger is chasing me!”)
- Perceived stress (“OMG how am I going to meet this deadline?!” or “OMG I forgot to buy carrots!”) From the eyes of another, perceived stresses may range from seemingly minor to major issues, but can still have significant impacts on an individual’s physiological stress levels.
Literal stresses are something all life has evolved with – it
has always been the survival of the fittest. And those literal threats are only
ever for short periods of time. You either escape the tiger, or get eaten.
Simple! ^_^
Perceived stress can actually be much harder to deal with,
and it is what most of society now struggles with. Simple “fight/flight/freeze”
responses don’t work on this, because there is no actual danger. These
perceived stresses all happen in our brains, yet they trigger the same hormonal
response that a chasing predator might cause.
The "fight/flight/freeze" hormonal response is an amazing
mechanism our bodies have evolved to protect us. It pulls most energetic
resources from our body and focuses it into just a couple of areas. This is
fine for a short burst of super-human strength to escape that tiger, but it’s
not a state of being we’re designed to cope with for long. It suppresses our
immune system, digestive system, creativity, and heavily fatigues our bodies,
to say the least.
The lesson I needed to learn, that took a long time for me to understand,
was to step back and look at my ‘stress’ from a different perspective. To
‘disconnect’, as such. We become stressed when we exist ‘within’ that small,
specific situation – it’s all we see, and all we think about.
If you can take a step back, and view the situation from
another angle, almost like it is someone else’s problem, often an easy solution
presents itself.
Sounds simple? In theory, it is super simple. In practice, it is super simple, but it may feel rather tricky, as
‘disconnecting’ from something can initially feel ‘wrong’
(for lack of a better word), and/or quite scary. It's new territory.
After ‘disconnecting’, what I personally found was that my
loyalties changed. I am still loyal to my company and take pride in my work,
but my primary loyalty now lies to myself. I’ve stepped back and am now looking
at the big picture of my present life. I now understand that, while I have ‘disconnected’
from the small day-to-day stresses at work, I’ve ‘connected’ with my larger
life purpose. Now I’m changing careers, following my heart, and have never felt
happier or healthier. Or stronger, within myself. And what’s even better, my
stress levels have come WAY DOWN.
Now, it's a bit hard to make this MASSIVE lesson into an
simple action GEM for the week as it is a mindset adjustment. So I’ll leave the thoughts from this post to soak
into your minds for a while; below is your GEM for the week – in preparation for next week! Yay! :D
There is something else that affects almost all of us now –
other than perceived stress. It’s actually touch-hunger.
Australian culture (and most other developed countries) have become rather standoff-ish; we don’t often hug
anymore. This is actually not very good for us – we need physical contact to
thrive. And I don’t mean just the sexual style of touch. Platonic touch is as
important, if not even more so! Ideally
we should each be getting 9 hugs each day, at least! Your GEM and homework
for this week – find some people to hug (choose carefully though, I don’t want
to hear stories of you frightening perfect strangers on the street!) ^_^
Friends and family are
the easiest choices, and hey, if you're not sure - just ask!
Next week I’ll talk a bit about the art and science of
hugging! Until then!
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